Today COTN officially accepted two new staff members to the San Diego COTN office. I am official! I’ve been in Ohio for my best friend’s wedding and got a text from Holly letting me know that I, and another team member, Amber, are staff members with COTN. Amber will be out Venture Trip Manager. My title is Local Events Coordinator.
I don’t know if I ever saw myself in a position like this. I guess I never really knew what I was capable of. Just sort of… I don’t know… wanted to do something, but didn’t really know how. I’ve always been chasing something that would be of meaning. I don’t think anyone ever really had faith in what I was doing. Nah… That’s a lie. I think people always thought I could do what I set my mind to. My friend, Alan, made the comment, “I have no doubt that you’ll be fine. You’re the one person I know will get through things.”, when I was unsure about my decision to move to Boston. I just don’t think anyone ever saw me moving outside myself. I know I didn’t. I wanted to.
This is standing on the edge. This is where the lines between “Can I do this?” and “This is what I’m supposed to do” run together. I can already see what a challenge it will be, but I somehow know that this is what I should be doing. Pastor Matt said, “It’s only when you understand that you are incapable of God’s work, will He use you.” That’s how you can be sure it’s God working in you.
My dad asked me to speak at our Wednesday night service in my hometown church. I wish I could say I was more prepared than I was. Dad simply said he wanted me to tell everyone what I have been telling him since I moved to San Diego. It’s hard to sum up everything in one sermon. There is so much that this community has done to strengthen my faith. In everything I feel that I have been lacking for years, I feel that I have suddenly been made whole. God did not create us to be alone, nor have I been doing what was required of me by trying to make it on my own.
When I lived in Boston the only people I knew were the people I worked with. I rarely had people to hang out with and I spent a lot of time at work or alone. I guess it’s what people mean with they talk about being alone in a crowd. Here in San Diego, I feel that I have been absorbed into everything, that I’m really a part of it. And not just a part of it, but a valued part. Community is more essential in our lives than most people realize. I consistently find myself brought to tears when I discuss the people that I have met here.
Today I join a new community with a very broad reach and many faces, a community of different languages and different Pedigrees, different needs and different social standings, but each an integral part of the community and as such… invaluable.
Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and Yellow, Black and White
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world
And the LORD said, “Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. – Genesis 11:6