8/6/10

            Today was a surprisingly busy day for being the first Friday that I no longer work at the gym. Cutting back hours at the gym made it completely impossible for me to afford to drive the 20min -1hr commute (depending on traffic on the 5) from PB to Encinitas for only 2 hours of work, so I convinced my manager to let me distribute those hours amongst my busier days giving me Monday and Friday off. It’s very scary knowing that I only work 3 days a week now. However, I’m confident that it will turn out as a blessing and will give me more time to devote to COTN.

            In my heart I have always had this yearning, this desire to be a part of something bigger than myself. It was an aching to serve, but I never really knew where or how. For years now I have been struggling with what to do with my life. I’ve never really felt that I have been particularly called into anything. I know what I am good at and had pursued careers in them. Although I enjoy what I am doing, there was still a part of me that questioned if this was really what God wanted for me. Sometimes I would lie awake at night stressed out of my mind asking God to give me some kind of direction, but found none. What is my purpose?

For the past few weeks, the word “purpose” has been popping up everywhere. My friends have been talking about Strengths Finder. Michael Jr. came to Flood and talked about finding your purpose and offered a questionnaire that could help you discover what it is. I took the questionnaire and answered questions that I have already asked myself and only found that I know what my talents are, but still have not found a use for them. That Sunday I struggled to hold back tears as we sang: “If you lead, I will follow. If you lead, I will go.” knowing that those words have been my prayer for years.

            I finally got my Strengths Finder 2.0 book in the mail and took the online test. For those interested, my strengths are:

Connectedness

Context

Empathy

Includer

Ideation

I met with Holly and Travis for lunch to go over what my strengths are and then try to place me in a proper role with COTN that will utilize my talents. It was very interesting to listen to Travis explain how my top 5 strengths work together and then offer ideas on how I can use them to benefit the organization as well as what other kinds of people I would work well with. (By the way, I feel that Strengths Finder should be taken by every high school senior prior to graduation.)

I finally feel like I am a square peg being put in the square hole. I am interested to see what I am capable of when I am able to utilize my strengths.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what's more, you will be happy. – Steve Goodier, (Follow Your Bliss)

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. – Robert Byrne

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. – Psalm 32:8