It seems that God continues to find ways to humble me. After the energy from Sunday’s Impact meeting, I stayed up until 3am that night and until 12:30am on Monday to put together a COTN-SD facebook and twitter (and I have ZERO experience with twitter). I wanted to create something efficient and professional so I took extra time to create new COTN logos specific for San Diego. Now, here I am Tuesday evening removing them because I was a little too ambitious to consider copyright laws. Oops!
It will also take some time to get used to the idea that the shortest distance between the COTN-SD office and the San Diego community is a line through Washington. There are times when the spirit moves me and I want to be able to share that with others but I will need to humble myself and learn patience. I have never before been in a position where I am being entrusted in this way. It’s not simply “get it done”, but there are stipulations to getting it done correctly. Still, I have not yet felt like this is not something God will get me through. I enjoy learning and I suppose God knows that all too well.
And I suppose God knows that I also like a challenge. I got a text from my apartment manager during the busy part of my day at the gym telling me that once again they want me to pay double my rent. So once again I don’t know what I am going to do. But I have been blessed with people in my life that will keep me from failing… and I am so absolutely grateful.
And then God gives me a slap of reality and I’m humbled again. Our founder, Chris Clark, returned from Malawi with some upsetting and challenging news for COTN. It made me realize how trivial my problems are. With every fiber of myself, I want to be working to heal the wounds of this unmistakable spiritual war. By coming on staff with a Christian organization, you find out quickly that people love you and people hate you. It’s not just a job. It’s picking up a target and putting it on your back every day. It’s giving Satan something to focus on. It’s multiplying your problems exponentially.
But don’t be discouraged. Beauty, joy, and accomplishment are also just as prevalent. There are those who are equipped with prayer, those equipped with grace, and those equipped with strength. Some are called to offer the other cheek and others are called to wear the breastplate and take up the sword and shield. I have always said that I didn’t believe God was going to make my life easy. I am finding that our expectations can shape who we are and what we will become. In that case, I am fairly certain that I will be going into the heart of battle. Although I may never achieve glory, I believe that I will be able to bring it.
Keep COTN (especially Malawi) in your prayers, as well as Chris’ peace of mind.
It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up– Ephesians 4:11-12