3/26/11

Today we woke up early and took a cab to Boca Chica to spend the day at the beach as this is our last day before the rest of the team arrives for the mission part of the trip. I must say that after driving in the Dominican, I see driving in Boston as a cake walk! We sat on the beach, talked to some people from Canada and told them all about COTN. We all thoroughly fried our skin in the sun. A gentleman told us about some of his friends who went into Haiti and asked us to be careful. Then we found a hotel/restaurant where there were several older Italian men sitting around and they helped us order a salad to share. Holly took a look at the rooms and then decided to book the place for the rest of the team when they stay for vacation time after the venture trip.

Vicky and I are somewhat jealous because it is a quiet hole in the wall place where you can walk right off the patio and into the ocean. They won't have to take taxis to get everywhere. Still, I will be glad to get out of the tourist atmosphere and get away from people shoving all sorts of jewelry and trinkets in my face saying "You buy!", "I make special price for you." and the men blowing me kisses and telling me that they love me. (Especially since most people know my severe connotations for that word.)

I want to get this show on the road. As horrible as it might sound to people, I'm sick of this vacation and I'm ready to be doing something. I keep praying that we'll get into Haiti. Tomorrow we pick up the rest of the team from the airport and make a 3 hour bus trip to Casa Bathesda in Barahona. I look forward to tomorrow's post.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. -- Romans 8:25

3/25/11

Good morning from the Dominican Republic. We are still struggling to get used to the time change. We woke up at 7am (4am San Diego time) to loud children laughing and shouting and the basketball being bounced against the wall of our room. There is a school right beside our hotel and it would seem that the children are always at recess or that we are next to their recreation area.

Apparently I was able to sleep through the dogs barking all night and the rooster that Holly said crowed all night EXCEPT for when the sun came up. But I was awoken by the children. After shouting for a while they all started singing the Dominican National Anthem. It's interesting to me that no matter what country you're in the national anthems all sound the same. Loud bombastic orchestras with blairing trumpets. I kind of wish each country's anthem would be more culturally diverse. That would be neat to get a taste of their native sound with their anthem.

Then we could hear someone walking heavily on the roof above our head. Yesterday we ventured about the small hotel and went up the stairs thinking it was the restaurant but instead walked out on the rooftop where they had the hotel laundry drying in the sun. So I'm assuming the heavy walking (sounded like heels) was someone doing the laundry. Soon after that, we heard two fighter jets do a low fly-by. Who knows what that was about, but it means it's time for us to get up and start our day.


Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
Psalm 30:5

EVENING:

So, today we went to the Dominican National Aquarium. I think we've established that I am more patient and enjoy taking more time to enjoy nature. There was one fish tank that had sunlight filtering through in streams and casting light on the rocks and across the colorful fish. I could have sat there for an hour just watching the fish and rocks. There were a couple schools there for the day. Holly and Vicky acquired some teenage boys for tour guides who brushed up on their Inglés by talking with us.

Then we went to Los Tres Ojos. I really wish dad were here for this. I can't wait to have a cord to upload the photos. It was a beautiful cave with 3 lagoons. I could have just stayed there all day.

As beautiful as this was, I can't really help but want to get this mission trip started. Currently we are still in limbo waiting to see if we are going to get the green light to go into Haiti. If we aren't allowed then we will be doing some training of the Dominican COTN staff, but I know we are all anxious to get across the boarder. I just keep looking forward to when the rest of the team arrives on Sunday. Then we will be going to the COTN complex, Casa Bathesda in Barahona.

3/23/11

IN THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC:

Last night, Holly, Vicky and I left on a red eye flight out of San Diego at 10pm PST on March 22nd and (after a layover in JFK) arrived in the Dominican Republic at 11:30am EST on March 23rd. A total travel time of 10.5 hrs. On the first flight we all made the mistake of getting exit rows for more leg room only to find that the seats were hard and didn't recline. Woops! It only took us about 30 min to get our luggage, get through customs, and exchange our dollars to pesos. We had a taxi waiting for us to take us to the hotel.

We are staying at the Carey House Hotel in Santo Domingo. It's the basic of the basic. (Think Motel 6) But there are 3 separate full size beds, so none of us have to share. The weather is beautiful. Not the scorching hot weather that Holly had warned us all about. After a quick lunch we headed out to the market to buy items to use for our silent auction in May. I knew that it would be somewhat frustrating to not know the language, but I didn't really know that no one would. We will not have an interpreter until we are at the COTN compound, Casa Bethesda.

We have been required to read the book "Foreign to Familiar" and it explains a lot about this culture viewing the DR and Haiti as "warm-climate" cultures and the USA as a "cold-climate" culture. Basically it's the same difference as Feeling vs. Thinking in the Myers Briggs. I don't know that we are crossing cultures effectively. And I'll admit that I keep wishing we could slow down and take a moment rather than barrel through. My concern is being viewed as rude which is a huge offense to the people in this culture. But for now I just follow and do as I'm told.

In all honesty, I'm anxious to get this part of the trip over with. I want to get to Casa Bathesda and start working on a project. I admit I like the absence of technology distractions. I think I'm itching for something significant to be doing.

As of right now we are still waiting to hear if we are going to be going into Haiti. We have everything prepared for the trip and all of us are hoping and praying diligently that we are able to get in.

Well, it's now 10:30pm EST and I'm ready for bed! Buenos noches!

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light." -- Matthew 11:28-30

3/22/11

PRE HAITI TRIP VIDEO BLOG:

3/8/11

I really think Chris Clark is right. Those heading to Haiti are under a spiritual attack. I’m finding that the closer we get to our team’s departure, the more things that go wrong. And what’s worse is I know my dad is going to read this and it’s going to turn more of his hair gray. But, I started this blog to allow people to see the joy and struggles in this budding charity and allow them that glimpse of this side of charity work. We help the children, but how often to people consider who is helping us? We know how much these children struggle, so we step into that role to struggle for them.

I am going through a core group class called “The Heart of Generosity”. So much emphasis is put on being generous with our finances and I feel so broken because I have nothing to give. Instead I’ve been giving of myself (my time and my talents) as much as I can. I’m becoming stretched very thin. There are so many things that people are screaming “priority” at me and yet so few of these responsibilities are able to keep the roof over my head or put any food on my table.

I know we are all struggling and that’s what makes me so selfish to be worried about these things. In one of the videos I watched for the core group the speaker breaks down what percentage of the typical American paycheck goes to our different expenses. I decided to do this myself just to see how much money I could actually give:

% of monthly income to living expenses
60% - Rent
2% - Utilities
2% - Internet
15% - Student Loan
9% - Gas (if I can get by with putting in only $20 a week)
12% - Food/Additional Expenses/Savings or Credit Card

I found that if I tithe 10% I am left with $21 for food or other monthly expenses.

Since I will be in the Dominican and Haiti the last two weeks of this month, I will be cutting off the end of my usual income because I won’t be here to train my clients or to clean the house. As of right now if I don’t have any clients cancel than I will just make enough to cover my rent. All of my tax return went to pay off my mounting credit card bill that has been taking the edge off my expenses by holding the weight of gas and groceries.

Then tonight when I went to run with my friend she noticed a ticket stuck under my passenger side wiper. Apparently I got a ticket for parking outside my own apartment complex and not cramping my tire to the curb. MY TIRE! A $59.50 fine!

I had to sit in my car and just cry for a while. What more can I do? I know I’m being stuck with the title of “negative”, but it’s hard to be positive when I’m trying so hard to live for Christ and I just keep getting taken out at the knees. I was there to run with my friend, so I got out and ran. I ran the long way. I wanted to out-run the thoughts and tears and stress and fear and uncertainty. I wanted to run until my feet wore away and I couldn’t run anymore. My lungs burned, my neck and shoulder cramped, and as soon as I ended the run the sobbing caught up with me. I couldn’t stay to go out for tacos with the rest of the group. I came home and sat in my parked car (with the wheels cramped against the curb) until I could pull myself together enough to go inside. Took a long LONG bath and now here I sit wondering what will happen.

I believe with all my heart that God provides, but I am not so certain that I am doing what He wants me to be doing. Am I struggling because I’m under attack or because God is swatting at me trying to get me to stop it? How do I put on the happy face? How do I act like nothing is wrong? I know eyes are on me, pressuring me to prove that I am able to stay positive through this, but when does positivity turn into denial of reality and just pure insanity? I don’t want to express concern and be a Debbie Downer.

Pray for Chris Clark and his family.
Pray for our team already in Haiti.
Pray for the people and children in Haiti.
Pray for the efforts of COTN.
And then… if you have anything left… please consider praying for me.

You have led me, to the sadness, I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken, I'm crying out to You...
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
-- The Valley Song (Jars of Clay)

2/26/11

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!! I had been number crunching in my head for a while now to figure out how I was going to afford to go to SOMA. I had received a partial scholarship, but was still tight on cash. Flood has been great in working with me to set up a payment plan so that I can still attend the conference. Then yesterday I received an email informing me that someone had made an anonymous donation and paid for my SOMA registration in full! Not only that, but my director called me and said someone was going to become a monthly donor to my personal account!

I am so grateful and want to give back. I’ve signed up in every area that I have time to help prepare for SOMA.

My car has been giving me all kinds of trouble lately. I just got new tires put on this morning and I wasn’t halfway down the street when my car went back to it’s violet shaking at idol and wouldn’t accelerate to more than 20mph. So here I sit typing away at a auto repair shop hoping I can get out of here in time to still make the Switchfoot concert I got a group of people to go to. AND I left my cell at my apartment, so I can’t let them know where I am. Ugh! It’s amusing how when one thing goes right other things fall apart. Evil sure is persistent. There was also some complications in finding a new apartment, but after a lot of searching, my new roomie and I found a place. I’m actually mostly moved in as of today.

Do not fear the winds of adversity. Remember: A kite rises against the wind rather than with it. – Unknown

2/15/11

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I hope everyone had a good holiday season. I enjoyed a nice trip back to Ohio to visit with family and had a pleasantly uneventful flight. (Despite being routed through DC before heading west back to San Diego.) I was able to have dinner with my best friend Alan, visit with my other best friend Tiffany, meet up with one of my San Diego friends (who is also from Ohio), and sing for our Christmas Eve service at church.

            When I got back to San Diego, there was much to do. I got in touch with my former roommate who owns his own promotions business and we started making plans for a Valentine’s event downtown in the Gaslamp district. We secured a great venue called the Sé Hotel with an awesome rooftop pool deck where we were going to hold an art and singles auction called The Heartbreak Hotel. We even got Ajirotutu of the San Diego chargers to be auctioned off.

            Surprisingly the preparation for this event went smoother than I thought it was going to. I was nervous since it was my first time working with outside promoters and venues. Technically the event wasn’t COTN’s. It was Sé’s and we were just the charity benefactor. So there were many things that we didn’t have to worry about. However, it did limit us as to the things we could control. In the end some of the things the venue had planned didn’t end up coming together and the event really revolved around the auctions for COTN. You’d think this would be a good thing, but we missed a great opportunity to share more about the charity. When we had our follow up, we all feel like those who came to the event who didn’t know what COTN was, left not knowing what COTN was.

It was a great event and Sé was a blessing to us. I’ve gotten tons of great feed back and it is good for me to have one of these under my belt. It’s hard to know everything that you want to accomplish without any experience. Now we know what things we want to do better, what we want to focus on more, and how to communicate better with our contacts. The hardest part so far in this whole event has been passing back and forth information and keeping everyone informed about everything they needed to know. Whew! Communication is a lot of work! I was able to make some connections with other promoters though, and am looking forward to meeting with them to see how we can partner on future events.

On the personal side, I have decided to trust God and quit my job at the gym to focus more on COTN. In the end, it was costing me more in transportation to and from work than I was getting paid for actually working. I’m going to have to move out of my current apartment and try to find someplace with lower rent because I cannot afford to stay here anymore. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I had to apply for food stamps too. *Sigh * I never wanted to be someone who couldn’t provide for myself. I know I’ve said it before, but it’s mind-boggling to find that being financially responsible doesn’t cut it.

We have recently finished a generosity series at Flood and it just reiterates how much I want to give of myself. It’s also somewhat disappointing to know the things that are keeping me from being generous. Most of my life I have felt that giving money wasn’t enough. I wanted to give of my time and talents and show hands-on generosity. Now, hands-on generosity is all that I can give. It’s frustrating to me to be unable to be generous in all aspects of my life. I still give to our sponsored child in our community group and I give whatever I have in my wallet on Sundays. It’s still so little and I know it’s less than 10%. It’s hard when my expenses are around 97-99% of what I’m making and each month I wonder if I’m actually going to have enough to pay my rent, utilities, and student loans. Food isn’t even secondary. I have to make sure I have gas in my car, all those annoying fix-ups on the car, I keep chipping away at my credit card bill, etc…

There have been several blessings that have kept me going and I am thankful every day for them. The people who have stood beside me this whole time are truly a gift. Surprisingly, I am happy for the struggle. I am glad that I am working so hard for something so important rather than something with no redeeming value.

I’ve also stepped up to fill some leadership roles in my community group. I’m working the group’s facebook page, doing the worship slides, designing group T-shirts, and filling in for the leaders when they are unable to attend. I really enjoy it. I’ve also made the commitment to attend The Heart of Generosity core class and signed up for SOMA. (I’m not sure if I’m actually able to go to it yet, but I did apply for a scholarship.)

My next assignment is to work on my personal support raising. I have had a few donations, but I need to work on finding monthly supporters. I am blown away at the support some of our other staff members have. It seems as simple as sending out a quick letter and bam they have most of their support. I can’t be too upset though. If I look back, how financially supportive was I of these kinds of things? It’s like I just recently told a friend “It takes time for good things to grow. If it happens quickly, it’s made no lasting roots.” And so I will be patient and persistent and nurture these seeds in the hopes of harvesting hearts.

NEXT EVENT: Silent auction and dinner.

Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time. – Og Mandio 

For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labor of love, which you have shown toward His name… - Heb. 6:10